First of the Year

1838357Big news. Big, big news. I’m going to get the apology out-of-the-way up front. This happened last Saturday. Not two days ago Saturday, but nine days ago Saturday. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. The combination of laziness, a ton of reading, a 30-hour work week (no, not that, 30 hours of work, anything but that),  even more laziness, and a touch of stupidity (after work one day, I went to the library with every intention of working on my story and writing this post – normally in this situation, I’d forget to bring along the pages I wanted to rewrite, in this instance, I packed them in my computer case, I just forgot to bring the case  and computer – in my defense I was working a 6-10am shift) drove me to distraction and kept me from writing, shame on me.

So, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, I’ve started the re-write of my story. The great American novel I had dreamt of, it is not, but it is something (a waste of your valuable time, good only for toilet paper in actual print form, being the two main “somethings” I can think of).

My original goal was to release a chapter a day during the month of October. As you know, October has 31 days and this past Saturday, November 14th, I posted Chapters 19 and 20. You might say I’m a little bit behind.

I got a little bogged down somewhere around chapters six through eight. I didn’t like them. I didn’t like the content. I didn’t like my writing. I was bored with them. I’m sure, if you read them, you’re familiar with the sentiment.

I couldn’t figure out why I was so bogged down, then I realized it was the book I was reading. You see, I’d been inspired to start writing by the work of Jean-Patrick Manchette. His writing was sparse and action-packed (yes, I realize I’ve achieved neither of those attributes, some day…). I also made sure to read other “noir” styled novels during that time, in hopes of informing my writing.

I’m thinking this is a terrible way to go about your business as a writer as you should be looking more to write in your own voice, or something to that effect. I’m sure it’s a writing bylaw of some sort or other that you shouldn’t imitate the style of another writer.

77239So, I’m easily influenced. During chapters six through eight I was in the middle of slogging my way through Andersonville. I don’t know if you’ve ever read this book. If you haven’t, I cannot advise you highly enough not to. It was dense. Full of needless description. It won the Pulitzer for fiction in 1955 (how this thing won an award is beyond me). It killed me. And it crushed my writing spirit.

Every paragraph became me just vomiting more and more descriptions that bogged down the flow on the page. More of a telling than a showing. It was awful.

Right now, you’re wondering how anything could be more awful than what has already been produced. You find it hard to imagine. Well, it’s reality. You’re welcome. I’ve saved you some pain and suffering.

23754479Anyway, to break out of the writing funk, I decided I needed to read some more noir, or a mystery/thriller of some sort. So, glutton for punishment that I am, of course I read Purity by Jonathan Franzen, and stopped writing completely.

Say what you will about Franzen, and many do, he can actually write. Talent oozes from his prose. And if you’re in the middle of a bit of a writing rut, you probably shouldn’t read him as chances are you’re going to feel pretty shitty about your own writing.

Anyway, I decided to jump into some Elmore Leonard, the “master of crime fiction,” to try to get back in a crisp writing groove. And it worked, a little.

The only problem being that Elmore Leonard is a pretty excellent writer in his own right, and “oh by the way” he started his career writing Westerns, and the three novels I read all ended in a “high noon” styled showdown of a sort.

I think, at this point, the lead is sufficiently buried, so a reminder about what the big news referenced in the opening line is all about. I bought my first book of the year last Sunday, November 7th.

Yes, I did purchase a book for Crash for her birthday back in September. This is the first book I purchased for myself in 2015. It beats last year’s “first book of the year,” the late-August purchase of Travels with Charley, by two+ months. That’s pretty impressive considering I probably could have funded a year of undergrad with the amount of money I’ve spent on books over the course of my life (that would be a year at a fine public university – still couldn’t afford a private school even with the thousands I’ve spent).

What was the book in question you ask? Why, it was Elmore Leonard’s Riding the Rap. Other questions you may have: Why did you buy it? Doesn’t the library system with twenty-two branches within the city limits carry all the works of a noted American master such as Leonard? How much did you pay for it?

Well, I bought it because I ended up starting a short series Leonard had written. I read the first book, and had taken the third out of the library, but someone else had put a hold on it, so I had to get it back. Of course, as luck would have it, the library, at none of its twenty-two branches had a copy of the book.

They did have a digital copy, but I spend so much time in front of the computer hating myself for wasting time, that I couldn’t stand the thought of reading a book for pleasure on the computer.

Crash had suggested buying the mass market version of the book at Powell’s. This seemed a brilliant idea to me (blatant sucking up), so I went ahead and did so. It cost $4.95!

It’s original cost was $6.50. What is wrong with this world when a used mass market copy of a book costs 75% of its original price. When I open my own bookstore, I’ll probably charge 80%. Who am I kidding?

You know why I think the library didn’t have it? I think it was due to a lack of funding. What are they spending the money on? In a word: cops.

The Multnomah County Sheriff’s Department patrols the halls of the library in force. I wrote about how there was an officer with a gun or taser or what not patrolling the Santa Cruz library last November.

Here in Portland, they don’t carry guns, but they wear bullet proof vests, and what they lack in firepower, they make up for in numbers. I wish I could tell you I was joking.

I’ve been at the Central branch of the library a few days when they’ve opened and a mass of the “dispossessed” are waiting on the steps to get in. A half-dozen sheriff’s officers in the green and brown I associate with park rangers open the doors. More officers are waiting on each of the library’s three levels. It’s quite an impressive display of force.

And apparently it’s needed. I was talking to a co-worker who had stories of wandering into the bathroom (on different occasions) to find people shooting up and other such craziness.

But I digress. We were, finally, discussing my first book purchase of the year. Was the book worth the $4.95? Of course not. It read like a watered down version of the first book in the series. Such is life.

Not to ruin things but I think I’m in pretty good shape to make my final goal from the New Year, New You post a reality. I don’t think Powell’s has seen more than $50 from me this year, but there are 38 shopping days left until Christmas, so anything is possible…

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