ocean – Page 2 – Picking Up Roots

Land’s End

With cool fingers the water rose up to meet his bare ankles. As he stepped further, it moved up his calves, undulating beneath his knees with the incoming tide.

The afternoon sun burned across the water in a fiery shimmer. He turned towards its warmth and shut his eyes.

He knew what was out past the island at the point of Land’s End: an endless canvas of blue possibility. He turned his head up to the sun and took a deep breath, exhaling it he melted into the water.

Everything fell from his shoulders: doubt’s constant nagging, his worry over his family, the upheaval happening at the office, the miles he’d traveled to get here. He felt light for the first time in months. The only thought that entered his brain was that if his feet weren’t held down by the water he might float away.

Happiness enveloped all of him in a warm embrace he had only known glimpses of in the past six months. His was a good life, but this was something else. He hadn’t had any idea he needed it. The car had entered the parking lot, and he’d been pulled toward the water line. Before he knew what was happening he was removing his shoes and socks and rolling up the pant legs of his jeans.

It felt so good. He felt connected. He belonged to this place. He heard nothing, but the gentle lapping of the waves upon the shore. He didn’t feel the eyes of the tourists staring in disbelief at this man up to his knees in the cold Atlantic in May.

He kept taking deep breaths. He wanted to soak it all in, make sure it reached the deepest parts of himself. He’d needed this feeling. He’d needed to come home.

Breakers

He wanted to walk closer to the water where the sand was firm and cooler. He wanted to feel the bite of the early-spring Atlantic as the occasional wave washed over his naked feet.

She preferred the looser sands further up from the waterline. She was cold. The wind tore through the thin jacket she wore. Looking at the icy blue of the ocean made her shiver.

He looked up at her as the wind caught her hair, pushing it in disheveled waves across her face. She was beautiful. Still. Always. Forever. Time would never steal that from his eyes.

The sun glistened across the water and she had to squint to make out his shape. She saw more the motion – his long strides – than anything else. She thought he was crazy to be out there in shorts, feet getting washed over by the foamy water. She shivered again.

He felt the peace washing over him. The cold water sharpened his senses, but the simple act of being by the water washed away all the cares weighing him down.

She didn’t hate it here. She loved the ocean. She just didn’t like the cold. It was too early to be here. She hadn’t said as much, she knew he needed this. Still…she couldn’t help feeling.

He felt light. He watched the gulls soar upon the wind and envied their freedom. He thought about what waited at home.

She looked down at him. Saw he was up to his knees now, his legs never leaving the water. He was an idiot. It was too cold. She loved him anyway. That would never change.

He didn’t feel the water. He felt nothing. He drifted further toward the sun.

She looked for him again. He was gone. Her scream drowned in the wind.

Clean

The wind howled from the northwest adding white caps to the placid waves of the bay as the sky darkened.

“It’s going to rain hard,” said Gram, who felt the storms in her bones an hour or two before they hit, “I’d say you still have an hour or so before it gets here, but you should start bringing in anything you don’t want to get wet.”

“Okay.”

I’d come up to see her on a whim. I needed to get away and the cottage was the best place for that. No one who knew about what had happened knew where it was. I’d turned my phone off when I hit the state line, so they wouldn’t be able to call either.

It wasn’t the biggest mistake of my life, but it was close. As Gram said when I told her about it, no one had died, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t happened and that a few people hadn’t been hurt. Gram had offered that “aches and pains are part of life, whether they are of the body or the soul, you can’t avoid them.”

As much as those words helped, they were only a momentary balm. Hour after hour my mind played out the events over and over again. I don’t know what I would have changed. Everything had to happen the way it did. I’m not proud of it, it just…there wasn’t another way.

“Here it comes,” Gram announced from the front windows, looking out across the bay.

I looked out and saw a wall of water coming towards us. A low rumble of thunder echoed out ahead of it. This is what I had been waiting for.

I opened the side door and stepped out onto the deck. The first drops of water slammed into my skin. I stretched my arms out wide and looked to the sky. I turned in a slow circle hoping to be cleansed.

Though she didn’t say a word, I could feel Gram’s eyes on me. I knew there was no judgement. Just love. That’s what I needed. That’s why I’d come.

Soaked to the bone, I went down to the water’s edge. Gram always said salt water healed everything. I lay down in the water, hoping my wounds had been washed clean by the rain and that the salt would now do its part.